


Dave & Terezi: Showtime

by TTMIYH



Series: John: Grow Increasingly Involved With Kink [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, BDSM, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, F/M, Gender, Genderfluid Character, Genderplay, M/M, Oh It's Gonna Get Gendery Alright, Other, Photography, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28381026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TTMIYH/pseuds/TTMIYH
Summary: "You better be getting my good side." Terezi hissed, hands on their hips, figure noticeably unsteady as the feeling of knee on wood traveled up their thighs, into their hips, and even into their spine a little bit."I actually am getting your worst side. Believe it or not, but me, being beneath a handsome young gremlin's legs? Total nightmare. This is on par with the... Theft of the Mona Lisa in terms of "bad art related things that I hate". It's right up there on that scale, along with "Shark Tale" and "Shrek 3" and "Eduard von Grützner". This is the worst day of my life, artistically, by far." Dave said, a rambling, engine-rev monotone of roiling words ripping through his lips like the inevitable cracking of the San Andreas fault. Every sentence, the Big One. He aimed hence with his camera.Click. Hissssssssrollllllll.
Relationships: Terezi Pyrope/Dave Strider
Series: John: Grow Increasingly Involved With Kink [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1285106
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Dave & Terezi: Showtime

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a series of stories taking place before the events of [John: Accept Invitation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17874917/chapters/42188942).

"Dave."

"Yeah?"

" _Dave_."

"Uh huh?"

" _David Elizabeth Strider._ "

Terezi's knees gently pinched together the best they could, pressing Dave's cheeks into his teeth. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll went the strip of little polaroid paper emerging from the camera's asshole, dropping out comfortably onto Dave's face. He pursed his lips into a little "o" and blew it out of his face, so that he could aim his next shot. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "That's my name, don't wear it out."

"You better be getting my good side." Terezi hissed, hands on their hips, figure noticeably unsteady as the feeling of knee on wood traveled up their thighs, into their hips, and even into their spine a little bit.

"I actually am getting your worst side. Believe it or not, but me, being beneath a handsome young gremlin's legs? Total nightmare. This is on par with the... Theft of the Mona Lisa in terms of "bad art related things that I hate". It's right up there on that scale, along with "Shark Tale" and "Shrek 3" and "Eduard von Grützner". This is the worst day of my life, artistically, by far." Dave said, a rambling, engine-rev monotone of roiling words ripping through his lips like the inevitable cracking of the San Andreas fault. Every sentence, the Big One. He aimed hence with his camera. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll.

"Who, in God's name, is Eduard von Groootzner, and why do you hate him so much?" Terezi asked. "Fuck this, I'm bending over."

"No, don't. Stop." Dave cut in, his breath hitching a little bit as Terezi proceeded to bend over, supporting themselves on the ground now with an added set of palms (two, to be precise) in addition to their two knees. "That's confidential information, Mx Pyrope. I'll have you know me and fat jolly monks drinking beer go way back, in terms of unbridled animal rage. Whenever I see a remotely rotund member of the clergy around any sort of alcoholic beverage, you know me, I just go absolute apefuck bananas." _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "Can't resist the urge to punch holes in that medieval parchment. Belt."

"What a professional." Terezi quipped, reaching down for their belt buckle, trying to remain steady on three points. Dave's feet planted themselves firmly in the ground and he wiggled against the hardwood, reaching to flick the accumulating polaroids into the awaiting polaroid pile, where they could develop in their own time. Yeah, if this was a real professional shot, he'd maybe treat them with a little more care, but it was not, so he wasn't. No, there were more goals here than professional photography, although it was doubtless that he'd take some of them and sell them later. Having extra spending money was always nice. Good to have more than beans and rice, Dave.

Terezi's belt slapped against the ground, narrowly avoiding Dave's face, although he barely flinched half an inch at the resultant noise. They discarded their belt to the nearest ass receptacle, which in this case happened to be Dave's ratty-ass couch, coated in a mildly distressing layer of dust outside of one specific ass imprint that was saved for Game Time™, Dave Strider's officially licensed video game game show where he failed to turn on any streaming equipment whatsoever and instead just played video games by himself with nobody else around. Actually, the dust imprint wasn't that bad, he was just exaggerating in his internal monologue. Oh, shit, you're meta-introspecting too much. Get a layer back down, dumbass!

"Only the best for you, Rez. Are they coming off or are you just going to tease me until my junk shoots off like a bottle rocket and impales you in the stomach so I can inject my hermaphroditic love darts into you like the snails we are?" Dave answered dryly, watching the tiniest hints of hip, of stomach, peeking out from the flaps in a white dress shirt button-down, an eyebrow unavoidably cocking itself when he was answered with the sound of a zipper.

Then, a button. Pop! _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "Oh, Strider, darling, you know just how to hit my buttons." Terezi replied, tossing their head back and letting loose the most Halloween-y witch cackle Dave had ever heard. It was something like "Kaaaahahahahahahehehehehehahahahahaha~!", tickling Dave's ears in the way that only that screechy, metal-on-metal sound that was Terezi's voice could do. "What I wouldn't give to have a love dart that I could mutually impale you with, so as to ensure we would both bleed out in only the most _pleasurable_ of fashions."

The way she rolled that word - pleasurable - always caused Dave's back to twitch a little bit, right there, right between his shoulderblades. "That's not what love darts are for, Rez. Basically, you take two snails, so in this case you have one hot, awesome snail, and another one that is short, runty, gender-ambiguous, with a throat made of razor blades-" "Oh, you flatterer!" "and they both fence with them and the one that stabs the other one first releases a hormone or whatever that makes that one the baby holder. Whoever stabs first gets to enspermate the other one."

"I fail to see how that is sufficiently different from our currently established relationship, Strider." Terezi sighed, _finally_ giving the hormonal photographer what he wanted and sliding down just the tiniest bit of their waistband. If this was an anime, Dave would've had a nosebleed right then and there - the hip bone! The pure, holy hip bone, peeking its head just barely over the top. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. A moment to stop, grab some more film while Terezi talked, right from your pocket. You come prepared, Dave, don't you? _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "Furthermore, I have a feeling that enspermation is not an actual word, and that snails do not actually do that."

"No, it's for real, I promise you I'm not shitting your nuts or whatever situation you've got. Snails really do do that. Jury's out on enspermate." _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "It sure sounds evocative, though. Like, you know exactly what I mean even though I just pulled that word out of my dick. Enspermate. To ensperm something."

"You mean _inseminate_." _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll.

"That's boring. Don't be a language prescriptivist, Terezi, I don't think I could ever fall in love with a linguistic prescriptivist." _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll.

"Not even a short, runty, gender-ambiguous, razor-blade-throated linguistic prescriptivist?" Terezi taunted, yanking their pants down enough to reveal their boxers, letting those fancy black dress pants collapse over to Terezi's knees, promptly shuffled down all the way their calves and kicked somewhere into the distance, joining Terezi's jacket somewhere, no doubt. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. Dave reached up and fanned out the pile of developing polaroids from his chest in front of Terezi's face. "I can tell you are showing me the pictures but I question the wisdom of doing so given my almost complete inability to see."

"Just wanted you to see that they exist, and to assure you that you look absurdly fuckable in each and every one." Dave answered, discarding them to the pile. Three shots left. "Have you been waist training? You look stellar."

"Waist training is awful for you. If I want to wear a corset I'll just wear a corset." They answered, reaching a leg back and stretching, twisting and jerking their body every which way to ensure a prompt an even cracking of every single joint at once, something that never failed to unnerve Dave slightly each and every time it happened. "Have you?"

"Have you seen my waist recently? Didn't think so. It's because I trained it out of existence. Black hole brassiere. Tug on those strings and watch me vanish onto a pinhead, baby." _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. Terezi growled, just a little bit.

"You're referencing something." "No, I'm not. Honest."

Reaching down with their free hand, they swatted for Dave's face a little bit, eventually managing to lightly rake their nails right across his nose. He wrinkled it up and feigned a sneeze, causing them to jerk back, almost - almost! falling. "You'll tell me eventually." "Sure I will. Now, what's going off next?"

Terezi steadied their position, right on top of Dave, scooting down a little bit so that he could finally see their face, bright, radioactive red hair arranged in an eye-pleasing tuft, dark red, circular Daredevil glasses perched atop such a cute little button nose. Dark skin dusted with freckles every which way, each one dotted with luminescent, face-framing makeup. It made him want to reach up and kiss them. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "I don't know, Strider. It seems I have given up all I have left to give without revealing to you my breasts or my mysterious, yet-to-be-revealed genital configuration, of which I'm sure you are certainly dying to know. I have nothing more that I can remove! The game is up."

Dave reached up and took off their glasses, grabbing them from the bridge and plucking them off Terezi's face before chucking them onto the couch. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "Perfect." He said, watching their face darken in mute, pleased shame and surprise. More film. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. More film. So many shots of Terezi mutely covering their face with variable numbers of hands, between zero and two. The pure, naked emotion of being seen, maskless, through a camera lens. Vacant. Vulnerable. Primo. Aces. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. Get those photographs into the pile. "You look..."

"..." Terezi hummed quietly, kneeling back up, no longer resting their hands on the floor. Getting up from their sore knees, standing up, stumbling forward, and falling dramatically onto Dave's couch. "Do I?"

"No, I suppose you don't." Dave said, cocking his tongue to one side, imagining the phantom taste of lavender in his mouth as he rolled into his stomach. "Go ahead. Languish for me, lover. Show me your soul." _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll.

Terezi barked out a loud, squeaking laugh, scooting up on Dave's couch until they were hanging over one of the arms just as overdramatically. "You're quoting someone." "Maybe so. Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?" "I'll give you a pass on that because I know you're reciting a Vine meme at me." "That I am." _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "How's it feel to be fooling around with someone who quotes Vine on the reg? That's probably the worst thing I can think of, personally. I wouldn't want to be caught dead dating someone like me." _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll.

"It's a good thing we're not dating, then." "Oh, whatever. Nth-dimensional relationship anarchy knows no human boundaries. We're quantum fucking through hyperspace and megatime." "We're not fucking either." "Well, I'm certainly fucking you with my eyes." "Strider!" "Yeah? Present and accounted for." "Sss..." "That's not a word, babe." "It's the start of one!" "Well, which one is it?" "Suck my possibly metaphorical dick!" "If you insist." _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "Yes, perfect, that thing you just did with your eyes there? Keep doing that, yeah?" "Keep being _angry_?" "Yeah, perfect. Right there." _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "Yes, yes, yes, no, no!" _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll.

Terezi stretched out backwards like on a torture device, reaching down to touch their hands to the floor, kicking one besocked leg up into the air. "Hold that pose." Dave asked, using his Serious Tone, so Terezi knew he was Serious. Immediately, they dropped both legs down. "You're killing me, Rez. Film!" He shouted, anguished, like he had just been shot through the chest, rummaging through his pockets for his last packet of film that he had directly on hand. More pictures in the pile. "Please?"

"Fine. But only because I like you." "Scout's honor?" Terezi acquiesced, kicking one leg high into the air, their sinuous body and distressing amount of limber flexibility on righteous, awesome display for Dave, boxers pressing tight to their legs with their range of motion stretching them far. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. Switch legs. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. Switch legs. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll.

"Both up, please, Rez, if you would kindly." "Do you want me to do a fucking _headstand_?" "Yes." Terezi sighed, bemused aggravation clearly evident in their tone, as they proceeded to do a headstand, supported only barely by the couch they were so barely hanging onto with their ass, more or less. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll. "Perfect. One left. Dealer's choice."

"Come here, Strider. You're not getting out of this unscathed." Terezi said. Dave, of course, was all too happy to acquiesce, letting the pictures fall to the ground - he'd collect them later.

"Terezi, darling, I've been scarred from the moment I met you. Scarred with love. And the occasional cut or two from your nails, please file them lest we have another accident that requires me to bleach the entirety of my bedsheets and the underlying mattress _yet again_!" Dave said, replied, and stumbled his way towards the couch, flopping on top of it. Terezi proceeded to pull themselves back all the way over the arm of the couch, somehow managing to summon up all that incredible amount of core strength and work their way back into a sitting position from a handstand, dropping their legs onto Dave's lap.

"I will remember to file them even sharper for next time, just because you asked." Terezi replied, reaching out to grab Dave's shoulders, digging those dagger fingertips into him through his t-shirt just enough to make him wince, which made them laugh, fang-capped fake toothcolor canines longer than they were meant by God to be glinting just barely, glistening with moisture and saliva, in the dim lighting.

"You're killing me." "Good. Take a picture of my face. But make it a good one!" "Yeah? That's your dealer's choice?"

Terezi snarled, like a wild animal about to bite a chunk of Dave's face off. It made his dick twitch. "You heard me, Strider. Take a picture of my _face_. The best damn picture of my face you could possibly take in your short little life."

 _Click_. Hissssssssrollllllll.

**Author's Note:**

> All comments, kudos, bookmarks, and views are seen, noted, and greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.
> 
> [Tumblr](https://ttmiyh.tumblr.com)  
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